Hang On Or Hang It Up?

When do you call it quits?  One or both people in a couple striving to make it together will try to answer this question for themselves at some point in their relationship.  We’re not perfect as individuals, therefore we’re not perfect together.  Disney would have us believe love conquers all.  It’s because of love that we may go back on some of the deal breakers we had before encountering our mate and/or keep going to the point of being fed up with our mate.  People in the stands watching your relationship while eating popcorn may hurl unsolicited advice at you based on what they’ve seen from the outside. 

  • “You deserve better!”
  • “I wouldn’t take that shit!”
  • “Are you stupid?”
  • “The one that’s right for you wouldn’t put you through this!”

 Some of those people are loved ones that are tired of seeing you hurt.  Some of those people are people that you’ve told you’re tired of being hurt.  None of those people know more about your relationship than YOU do.  The human spirit is full of resolve.  Only you know how much you have in you to keep fighting for the relationship.  Hope is one thing but the most important element as to should you stay is……….**drum roll**………..whether or not the other person is putting in effort to be with you too.  We all make mistakes and some of them are huge.  If you want to be with someone despite their mistake(s) it will take forgiveness on your part but also require work on their part.  Anyone that cares enough to be with you, will care enough to put in the effort needed to stay with you.  Not topical effort, not temporary effort, not just enough effort but the kind of effort that makes the hole they caused close up little by little.  No one can judge that but you.  No one can tell you when to give up but you. 

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The relationships that have lasted a long time are not perfect relationships, they are simply relationships where neither party gave up on the other to the point of separation.  There will be bad times but you have to stick them out to make it back around to the good times. <—- That has to happen over and over again. 

Consider this short back and forth with the main characters of the movie The Mexican:  Samantha (Julia Roberts) feels like she can’t take anymore from Jerry (Brad Pritt).  All through the movie Jerry has delivered one disappointment after another that negatively affected their relationship.  She decides to leave but reappears in a last ditch effort that materializes in a question:

 Samantha:  …If two people love each other, but they just can’t seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?

 Jerry:  Never.