5 Men a Single Woman Should Date….#AtTheSameDayumTime

DISCLAIMER:  Forgive me for the hash tag abuse, I am mightily aware that the purpose of hash tags is to group together like posts on Twitter and now Instagram.  However, for the past few years hash tags have been abused on Facebook as a way to emphasize apart of your status.  I’ve embraced the latter and have done so here. 😉

Women tend to get upset because they often feel it’s hard to get a man to commit.  I beg the question: why isn’t it harder for women to commit?  It’s only a matter of making a simple decision: don’t try to make the one you’re with, The One.  Instead learn what your One looks like, feels like, handles business like, etc…. and hold auditions.  Oh you didn’t realize that is what most men have most women doing?  And why not?  I mean companies interview for jobs using requirements and performance expectations.  Who’s fault is it that you are so willing to work with what you have in a man when you meet him rather than continue to see who would be a better fit?

While a woman is single, she should be greedy and selfish.  It should be all about her when she’s dealing with men that she dates.  Dating and being single should be fun.  Compromise and understanding is for relationships and if you aren’t in one…  Get the picture?  Too often women are trying to be a girlfriend without having been given the title.  All too willing to be considered rather than be the one doing the considering.

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Stop interviewing for the girlfriend job and hold your own interviews for the job of being your boyfriend!  It’s all about knowing your value and doing your part to accept nothing less than what you deserve.  “Some people are the kind of people to go into a bank like what do I have to do to get this loan and others walk into a bank like what are you willing to do to get my business“.  That’s a quote by author John Wolfe.  Although he wasn’t talking about relationships, it still applies.  Are you the kind of woman that will start with a man seeing what you can do for him or are you the kind of woman that will start with a man making sure he can do what you need done for you?  The latter usually ends up with a greater amount of happiness with her choice.

Who are these five men a woman should look for in her interview processes?  Ben, Stan, E, Richard and Mo.

Ben is a BENefactor.  When he comes into your life, he upgrades it.  A man is a provider and if he is not providing for you then be clear that your relationship will be off balance.  It’s such a natural instinct for man that if he isn’t providing for you, then you can almost bet there is someone else he is providing for in lieu of you.  Providing can be using his contacts, his resources and/or his money.  I don’t encourage you to be a gold digger, just don’t entertain a broke……. Well, you know what Kanye West said, no need in me finishing the statement.

Stan is underSTANding.  He takes the time to find out who you are and what makes you happy.  He can tell by your voice that you’ve had a rough day and responds to your need to relax.  He gets you.  He knows exactly how you will react in certain situations.  You sometimes communicate without even saying a word.  He keeps you positive when you’re being negative.  He is your comfort zone.

E is Entertaining.  You work hard and you should play hard, so who better to play with?  His purpose is to bring balance to your life.  He’s fun and always “on”.  With him it’s all about a good time, whether you go out or stay in.  He caters to your adventurous side and reminds you that life is supposed to be exciting.

Richard is good in bed (some of you will get how the name relates later, if not email me and I’ll tell you the inside joke).  He sexes you upside the wall, just the way you need it.  He makes sure you get yours….twice….before he climaxes.  He is all about pleasing you because he realizes that will translate into him being pleased too.  From a romantic Don Juan to a Christian Grey, he gives you ecstasy just the way you like it.

Mo is the role MOdel.  He is important whether you have children right now or you plan to have them in the future.  From the outside looking in, he is to be your definition of a man.  Other guys respect him but women want their sons to be like him and their daughter to marry someone like him.

Sometimes each of these type of men are not in five separate men.  Your Ben may also be your E or your Stan may also be your Richard and your Mo.  It doesn’t matter when you’re single, just make sure you have each in your life.  When you get good at identifying each of these men and you’re ready to settle down, then your auditions should be geared toward finding one candidate that has the combination of the five that you need to compliment your particular happiness.

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No one is perfect and I’d venture to say that a single man fitting all five types, would be hard to find.  Decide what’s important to you and find HIM.  After you’ve found him and BOTH of you are committed, then you have responsibilities to make sure you compliment his happiness by fulfilling his needs and wants too.

As always, I encourage you to share your experience or debate mine!!

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24 comments on “5 Men a Single Woman Should Date….#AtTheSameDayumTime

  1. your articles are ALWAYS worth reading. some for pure enjoyment. some make more sense than should be allowed by law………but all of them cause us to THINK outside the box. Thanks for your insight.

    • Not at all but we are still responsible for doing some due diligence on whether a person is a good mate for us before we commit. Our fate is in our own hands and our lives are the sum of our decisions. Thanks Carla!!

  2. There is great wisdom in your article. I am a bit experienced, which is also an exotic way of admitting I’m over 40. I am divorced and 2 years ago, I almost made the huge mistake of marrying someone who was wrong for me. What you say about women being the ones who feel we have to make the grade, instead of us being the discerning ones, rings very true to me. I’ve since learned, it all boils down to self-esteem. If you are happy with your own company, and happy even when you are alone, you can be as discerning as you like before engaging with anyone. There is no reason to approach the idea of relating with men as a void that must be filled, or from a place of dire need which feeds one’s loss of self. Can you tell I’ve been there? I am going to use the tools in your article. I think they are spot on. This is a really creative piece and very well-written as well. Thank you

    • You didn’t need me at all, you already had that lesson in your bag of tricks. There is nothing like knowing your value and being able to translate that into how you date. Thank you so much for your testimony and your validation.

  3. Hi, found this via a LI group, and had to ask if the name Richard is an allusion to DICK. (LOL) I hope you tell me, in your reply!

    I enjoyed this post. As a single woman, I thought it true and entertaining!

  4. Pingback: Ask Sha’ re Feminist Propaganda bullsh!t | STFU For A Better Relationship

  5. A-freakin-men! Yes, yes, and HELL YES – I resemble this and soooooo need to change this perception of myself as “wannabe” to “already am fabulous and any fella would be super-freakin-lucky to have me, damn it.” 🙂 Rock on.

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