Physical Attractiveness: An Important Overlooked Point of Steve Harvey’s Experiment

I take lunch late at work every day. Why? Because it’s like having two breaks when you’re at your desk in peace when everyone else is at lunch and when they return, you leave for lunch. Plus a late lunch brings you closer to going home when you get back to work. On my late lunch breaks I usually catch part of Steve Harvey’s talk show. I love watching that show, partially because I just love watching Steve do his thang. I’ve been a fan since he only did stand up and came to the Stardome in Birmingham, Alabama once a year.

SHatStardome

Anywho… On one show in particular, he had a set of twins on there that had problems finding a man. Y’all know this is Steve’s focus these days; helping women navigate the waters of dating men. As this is my forte’ as well, I often sit high and decide if I agree with his advice or not. Well, I’m sorry to report that I finally found an episode with dating advice that I don’t wholly agree with.

twins

Basically during this episode the twins were revealed to be led mostly by physical attraction when deciding on whether they wanted to continue dating a guy. The guys chosen for the dates were clearly not attractive by average standards. However, they had other great qualities.

the dates

The biggest problem I found with the date is that when the twins realized they were not physically attracted to the guys, they begin to focus their line of questioning on materialistic things. In fact, the questions were rather rude.

On Steve’s show after the date, the men revealed themselves to not only have some great qualities AND THEY WERE FINE TOO!

dude reveal

Now the rest of the show really focused on how unattractive people can have very attractive qualities and therefore should be given consideration. I agree to find the one for you that they should have more than just physical attractiveness. However, the one for you should have good qualities AS WELL AS be attractive to you.  Let me be clear, the one for you can be packaged well and have substance. If you are patient, you can wait to have both. If you qualify, then you will have both. Now if you don’t have what it takes to appeal to who you are attracted to then you may have to either be more patient than most or consider someone with fewer things on your list of must haves. I will be the first to admit that the twins were cute but that old Barbie doll hair weave they had may just be a turnoff to the perfection in a mate they seek. But I don’t think they should just put down the physical qualities they are attracted to just to get a good guy. Good guys can be attractive too. If you want one, have patience and find one!

Here’s the link to that segment of the show. At about 4:06 is when the guys reveal their true selves.

As always, I ask that you share your opinion or debate mine. Have at it in the comments.

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Dude Where’s YOUR Valentine’s Day Gift?

February has 29 days this year, this happens about every four years. It’s Leap Year!!!!! With it, comes a Valentine’s Day tradition: women are to focus on and court men, instead of the other way around. Just as most years she wants her gift and expects a big deal to be made about your love for her, why shouldn’t you expect the same during this special year.  It should all be about appreciating your mate and not materialism. For the purposes of this post, mate will be used as to not leave out the “it’s complicated” nature of today’s relationships. However, it does not refer to physical relationships. If you didn’t actually date each other before Vday, then the notion of the holiday probably won’t change that fact.

But if your mate is someone who cares about you, then why wouldn’t every opportunity be taken to make you feel valued? It is true that people who truly care about one another don’t need a reason nor a holiday to show it. But why not use it to kick things up a notch? It’s Leap Year. You’re the man. Why not have expectations of your woman to recognize you during this time?

So what’d you get?

Your answer should not be the “n” word….NOTHING.  Firstly Vday usually comes after another unofficial holiday season, the income tax refund. If you can’t save a little of that child tax credit to purchase your sweetie something nice, then just go ahead and break up!!! The truth is, it doesn’t take a lot of money to show someone you care and in some instances; it doesn’t take any money at all. It is the thought that counts, however you have to put that thinking cap on. Not spending money means you have to spend more brain power.

a nice handmade card

a CD with songs that remind her of you or one that helps her “ride the beat”

 

homemade chocolate covered strawberries

created “love” coupons for you to redeem for various sexual favors

even a personalized message detailing how she feels about you

Needless to say, a little thought can go a long way. What’s most important is that you feel like the true gift is a woman that cares enough to show you that she cares. There is always a lot of talk about there not being good men. A bigger problem is that a lot of good men don’t feel appreciated. You’re not a bad guy, now stand up and require to be appreciated. Your mate can only get back what they put in. Selfishness is a relationship killer. Anyone requiring more of you than they are willing to give will use you up. Anyone not recognizing you on this day that only comes around for an Olympic span of time, is also of the school of thought that a man is supposed to bring more to the table than a woman.

Me, me, me!!! She’s the same type of woman that would expect you to make her happy rather than being responsible for her own happiness and complimenting yours.  She’s the same woman that would go shopping instead of paying the bills because how people think of her counts more than how you think of her. If your woman can’t find a way to make you feel special on this day, then maybe you need to get rid of that problem to give yourself time to find someone who will. There are a lot of cold hearted women out there but every now and then, among them you find someone that stands out.

Quickie: Why Do People Cheat?

Why Do People Cheat?… an exert from The Talk with DK and Sha’ Thursday Nights at 8 pm EST on Blab. Want to hear the rest of the conversation? Follow @DKWalker1 and @Sha_iWrite on Blab and go listen to the replay of Cheating: It’s YOUR Fault. #TheTalkDKandSha

 

Back To Blogging but Supersized!

I’ve missed you!! And if you’ve missed me, no worries I’M BACK!! I’ve decided to turn things up a notch. I’ll still give you the real deal, straight – no chaser, truth about relationships. But now you can absorb it in two formats.

I’ve joined a friend to create The Talk with DK and Sha’ and it’s not your momma’s relationship show!! But if you enjoy this blog, you’ll enjoy the show. I’ll even bring some of the blog posts to life on the show.

How do you tune in? On Blab follow @Sha_iWrite and @DKWalker1. The show is every Thursday night at 8 pm EST. Tune in but I’ll be recapping the show here on the blog as well. So be sure to leave your comments under the recorded broadcast and recap. As always, I look forward to reading your opinions!

DK & Sha' small doc