Ask Sha’ re Feminist Propaganda bullsh!t

I didn’t get a question. It was a comment. I will cut and paste it, as not to misquote:

men commit to relationships wwwaaay more serious than women…youre just spewing the normal feminist propaganda bullshit..

First, I’d like to ask, who threw-up in your Cheerios sweetie?  Second, I can only assume you were referring to the recent post 5 Men Single Women Should #AtThesameDayumTime and the line that went “Women tend to get upset because they often feel it’s hard to get a man to commit.” Clearly you didn’t catch that I said women FEEL it’s hard to get a man to commit. Despite your mistaken comprehension of my post, let’s talk more anyway. You were kind enough to add a YouTube video to your correspondence. I have embedded the video below  to oblige your need for cross marketing for it from that audience to mine. 😉 I don’t know if you are the video author of this clip or simply a fanatic of it because you didn’t disclose. I’ll simply call you Mr. IP Address:  The video starts by defining a woman attempting to persuade a man of her desires as “gyno-speak”. I assume the reference was a play on words as related to gynecology. I’m sure you thought that was as cute as I thought calling a dick the name Richard was cute in my post. To each his own on that point.  The video goes on to label a commitment as a man giving up his freedom and a woman using “shaming” language to accomplish this goal. It then continues on a tyriad about men not being commitment-phobes but being labeled as such by women who want to induce “domestic slavery”.  I apologize to you for stopping at the 3:53  point of the 12:09 video but I’d heard quite enough to back my initial opinion that you clearly misunderstood my post you lovingly labeled as “feminist propaganda bullshit”. However, I did surmise a few more points for you even having only heard about 1/3 of your recommended media delivered in a condescendingly robotic voice.

  • I never said men were commitment-phobes. I said they are selective and don’t easily settle for less than what they want. I then advised women to follow suit.
  • Every woman doesn’t want a commitment.
  • The video is a negative person speaking from a negative point of view probably not realizing that is the very state that lends itself to a self fulfilling prophecy of attracting negativity. I believe the saying goes, “if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”. I’ll translate it to apply here: if you expect that every woman that wants to be exclusive with you is inducting you into domestic slavery with vagina speak, then that is what you will attract.

I want to thank you so much for sharing. YOUR thought process is the exact thought process of a man that looks for woman to audition to earn your focus; regardless of your qualifications (or lack thereof ) for that focus. Thus proving the need for the original point of my advice………..ladies, qualify men (and friends, family, etc…) for your precious time and hearts.


5 Men a Single Woman Should Date….#AtTheSameDayumTime

DISCLAIMER:  Forgive me for the hash tag abuse, I am mightily aware that the purpose of hash tags is to group together like posts on Twitter and now Instagram.  However, for the past few years hash tags have been abused on Facebook as a way to emphasize apart of your status.  I’ve embraced the latter and have done so here. 😉

Women tend to get upset because they often feel it’s hard to get a man to commit.  I beg the question: why isn’t it harder for women to commit?  It’s only a matter of making a simple decision: don’t try to make the one you’re with, The One.  Instead learn what your One looks like, feels like, handles business like, etc…. and hold auditions.  Oh you didn’t realize that is what most men have most women doing?  And why not?  I mean companies interview for jobs using requirements and performance expectations.  Who’s fault is it that you are so willing to work with what you have in a man when you meet him rather than continue to see who would be a better fit?

While a woman is single, she should be greedy and selfish.  It should be all about her when she’s dealing with men that she dates.  Dating and being single should be fun.  Compromise and understanding is for relationships and if you aren’t in one…  Get the picture?  Too often women are trying to be a girlfriend without having been given the title.  All too willing to be considered rather than be the one doing the considering.


Stop interviewing for the girlfriend job and hold your own interviews for the job of being your boyfriend!  It’s all about knowing your value and doing your part to accept nothing less than what you deserve.  “Some people are the kind of people to go into a bank like what do I have to do to get this loan and others walk into a bank like what are you willing to do to get my business“.  That’s a quote by author John Wolfe.  Although he wasn’t talking about relationships, it still applies.  Are you the kind of woman that will start with a man seeing what you can do for him or are you the kind of woman that will start with a man making sure he can do what you need done for you?  The latter usually ends up with a greater amount of happiness with her choice.

Who are these five men a woman should look for in her interview processes?  Ben, Stan, E, Richard and Mo.

Ben is a BENefactor.  When he comes into your life, he upgrades it.  A man is a provider and if he is not providing for you then be clear that your relationship will be off balance.  It’s such a natural instinct for man that if he isn’t providing for you, then you can almost bet there is someone else he is providing for in lieu of you.  Providing can be using his contacts, his resources and/or his money.  I don’t encourage you to be a gold digger, just don’t entertain a broke……. Well, you know what Kanye West said, no need in me finishing the statement.

Stan is underSTANding.  He takes the time to find out who you are and what makes you happy.  He can tell by your voice that you’ve had a rough day and responds to your need to relax.  He gets you.  He knows exactly how you will react in certain situations.  You sometimes communicate without even saying a word.  He keeps you positive when you’re being negative.  He is your comfort zone.

E is Entertaining.  You work hard and you should play hard, so who better to play with?  His purpose is to bring balance to your life.  He’s fun and always “on”.  With him it’s all about a good time, whether you go out or stay in.  He caters to your adventurous side and reminds you that life is supposed to be exciting.

Richard is good in bed (some of you will get how the name relates later, if not email me and I’ll tell you the inside joke).  He sexes you upside the wall, just the way you need it.  He makes sure you get yours….twice….before he climaxes.  He is all about pleasing you because he realizes that will translate into him being pleased too.  From a romantic Don Juan to a Christian Grey, he gives you ecstasy just the way you like it.

Mo is the role MOdel.  He is important whether you have children right now or you plan to have them in the future.  From the outside looking in, he is to be your definition of a man.  Other guys respect him but women want their sons to be like him and their daughter to marry someone like him.

Sometimes each of these type of men are not in five separate men.  Your Ben may also be your E or your Stan may also be your Richard and your Mo.  It doesn’t matter when you’re single, just make sure you have each in your life.  When you get good at identifying each of these men and you’re ready to settle down, then your auditions should be geared toward finding one candidate that has the combination of the five that you need to compliment your particular happiness.


No one is perfect and I’d venture to say that a single man fitting all five types, would be hard to find.  Decide what’s important to you and find HIM.  After you’ve found him and BOTH of you are committed, then you have responsibilities to make sure you compliment his happiness by fulfilling his needs and wants too.

As always, I encourage you to share your experience or debate mine!!

30-60-90 Days: There is a Grace Period to Win Her Back

     So you had an argument and it’s really bad this time, huh? It was so bad, she says it’s over and it’s your fault. Let’s face it, it’ll always be your fault. Before you give up, make-up….you’ve still got time…

     If a woman has feelings for you, then she can’t just turn those feelings off like a switch. It takes time for her to disconnect and move on….no matter how big of a douche you were. It’s a process. 30-60-90 days, nahhhhhhh there isn’t a magic number that pertains to every woman. There are too many variables that directly correspond with how deep her connection to you could be: years of association, level of commitment, sexual compatiblity, how bad you hurt her, how many times you’ve hurt her, etc… All those things and more determine how deeply she’s into you thus how long it will take her to close the door on the chapter of her life that is you.

     If you want her back, the good news is there is a grace period. For what you ask? A grace period in which it is highly possible you can get her back. Regardless of the influence from her friends who never liked you and even regardless of the guys that try to hit on her; if you act quickly enough, with just the right amount of effort,  SHE CAN BE YOURS AGAIN!!!!

     Not only is the grace period about connection depth, it’s also about fantasy and dreams. A woman has been fed both, most of her life. She may have gotten it from her mom’s account of how love goes, Disney’s all-you-need-is-a-song-in-your-heart influence or the romantic comedies she’s always forcing you to watch with her where the asshole dude turned romantic gets the girl.  Whichever the case may be, almost every woman wants a man that will fight for her. If she runs away, she wants him to run after her. More particularly, she wants her man to fight for the “us” that is she and he. If she is running away, she’s probably looking behind her to see where you are.

     How do you maximize the grace period? EFFORT!!! In the movie How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, Kate Hudson chooses Matthew McConaughey for the express purpose of breaking up with him. She started off as her normal, cool self to lure him in, then she turns into this crazed girlfriend. She basically tortured him with all the female faux pas to get him to leave.

She cried at the drop of a hat, with no sane reason as the cause.

She bought a plant for him to take care of, called it their “love fern” then totally went left, psycho style when he let it die.

She even went as far as to name his private parts Princess Sofia using a baby voice.

As you can image, a man can only take so much before he snaps. Matthew blows up, Kate dumps him as planned. Enter the unplanned!! He offers couple’s therapy. They go spend time with his family. Effort, effort, effort! Yada, yada, yada! He ends up getting the girl.

Effort! It isn’t always what you did wrong that ends a relationship. Most often, it is the lack of real effort to fix the wrong that equals its finality. You may not have the solution to the problem between you BUT your willingness to work toward a solution will not go unnoticed, within a relationship that is still in the grace period. Your status may not immediately snap back into place, however your effort will keep her heart open to you and you can eventually get there.

If you mess it up, put in work to fix it and do it as sincerely as possible, as soon as possible.

Releasing HER freak


     Have you tried to do or suggest some things but your woman’s refusal has you wondering where her inner freak is hiding?  There are women who are naturally curious and experimental, those traits cross over to their sexuality easily.  There are women who simply won’t venture out, no matter what their partner says or does. Still yet, there are women with that touch of freak just waiting to come out. The latter is who we’ll focus on.

     First consider a few things, women are taught from girlhood to be a lady. They are told over and over again what makes them a lady and what does not. Anything even remotely sexual is deemed unladylike and immediately stomped out of their public behavior pattern. An extreme obstacle can be created when women are reared in the church to such starch guidance, that there is a seed in them sprouting confusion over right and wrong as it pertains to sexuality.

An average obstacle, seen almost daily in discussions on social media sites, can be the freak versus hoe argument. Most women don’t mind being seen as a freak but none are too keen on being labeled a hoe. What’s the difference? For the purposes of this article: a freak is someone who is sexually free with a significant partner(s); a hoe is someone who is free sexually with a significant amount of partners with no significance. Whether the obstacle is extreme or average, many women struggle with how much of themselves is honorable to give to a man. Enter the age old question; how do you get her to go from

   to   !!!!

     The reason you haven’t seen it may be because you don’t bring it out of her. Are there trust issues between you two already? You may not see the correlation but if she can’t trust you or your behavior, she probably won’t trust you enough to show you her freaky side. Do you have a predictable sexual routine? If you go from missionary to the buck to the scissors most every sexual encounter then maybe she doesn’t think YOU have a freaky side. If you are not doing well in a twosome, you’ll probably never make it to a threesome. Women get tired of the missionary position and other mundane positions, they need variety too.

     The underlying reasons behind her prudish behavior may not be your fault, but with your help she can overcome them. The name of the game is comfort. If she is comfortable with you, then what’s hidden will come out. This may seem an elementary step but never forget to help your woman feel at ease in her skin. Don’t brag on other women (this includes celebrities) around your woman. Most women already have a tendency to compare themselves with each other. If you are giving her someone to compare herself to and she feels that she falls short… well, no freak for you. Conversely, do say things that let her know you love her body just the way it is. If she feels like you think she’s sexy, then she’s more apt to feel and act sexy. How she feels ABOUT her body directly effects how she responds WITH her body. Flattery gets you everywhere, including a place of impromptu oral. So get your head out your ass and get those sexy reinforcing words flying often.

     You’d be surprised how many women haven’t experienced an orgasm. If she’s not getting that “O”, she’s less likely to spice things up. A female orgasm can be a complex thing. A person has to be focused on the act of sex to truly enjoy it to the fullest. It can be harder for women to even get into the frame of mind because by nature, they think about a million things at once. Don’t believe me? Fine, I’ll prove it.

As a man your response may be along the lines of : she got a fat ass, ohhh she ain’t got no panties on, I’d hit that from the back, etc… You may have more than one thought, but they will be cohesive to sex.  A woman will respond something like this: I wonder if she has on white shoes too, that black purse is NOT complimenting that outfit, I hope it’s not after Labor Day, I ate too much during the holiday, I need to start back exercising, I never did make my doctor’s appointment, I have to go by Walmart, etc… She’ll always have more than one thought, but they will hardly ever stay concentrated on what you’d deem the same subject. With that said, you’ll have to help her stay focused on the prize. Once something feels great, focus is easily placed on it. A good way to achieve that is through awesome foreplay. Don’t just jump on top to “do your business”. You’re not mister and she’s not Celie. If you want more out of it, you’ll have to put more into it. Anything that stimulates the clitoris is usually a sure fire win/win. Use your tongue, a moist finger, a battery powered bullet, etc… Once those juices start flowing the sensation alone will keep her attentive to the task at hand.

Give a girl an amazing feeling to chase and she’ll follow you to places to re-live that experience. As a man, you almost have to think of sex like tithing. What you give, will come back to you tenfold!! You can opt to do nothing different but you’ll have to keep using THIS move to a dvd of Pinkie trying to use her T-rex arms and a pink wig to make your fantasies coming true…


They Won’t STFU Communicating in Secret Woman Language


It’s well known that females like to talk.  We talk to our friends.  We talk to our co-workers.  We talk to you (to death, let you guys tell it).  We also talk to the other women you’ve dated in the past and/or to anyone we think you may be interested in/dating in addition to us.  Oh yeah…we talk.  Often it isn’t direct and even more often, men don’t pick up on it.  Back in the day we’d dedicate a song to you on the most popular station of the radio.


“This next song goes out to Dexter of Pleasant Grove from Laura.  She wants you to know that no matter the hard times, she will always love you.”

These days women symbolically pee around their territory on social networks.  It may be a subtweet (a tweet referring to a person without using their name) or it may be a Facebook post.


          As a man, most of you will think such behavior is catty and petty.  Why are women like this?  What drives this kind of behavior? In a word…jealousy.


Even a secure woman can feel some kind of way if they feel the presence of another woman growing in your life or you show what they deem as undue attention to another woman or women.


How does YOUR woman even know about anyone else?  Even if you haven’t left evidence or done anything different, the other woman will begin to make her own presence known.  If a woman is in “like”, let alone in love with you then she will always crave to be top dog.  I call this the fight to be relevant.  Even the friends with benefits partner will maneuver for a top spot once she gets a whiff of competition.  Competition over a man will NEVER not feel like a threat to a woman.  We can’t even share clothes, very few of us can successfully share a man.  In fact, most women are driven by the fear of having to share a man or losing out to another woman after unknowingly having shared a man.  We want to know we were your best choice…we prefer to be your only choice.  That preference is what drives us to destroy any possible competition.  If competition exists we WILL find her because as soon as we get that whiff of competition, we shift into observant detective overload.

A Jealous Woman Does Better Research Than The FBI

We start to leave “messages”.  The main message is girlfriend, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE!  Sometimes it’s your own carelessness as a man that plays a part in giving you away.  Maybe the date you paid for at the frou-frou restaurant which wasn’t with her, was evidenced by the receipt displaying that big tip you left to make a good impression.


Most often is something she did that you missed to test the waters with her message. She conveniently puts her lipstick stained glass in the sink with the stain facing another dish rather than outward where you’d immediately see it.  You look for stains on in the middle of the sheets but what about the make-up stains on the pillow case that she flipped over as she made your bed hoping you wouldn’t be the first to see it.


Hair pins or a pair of earrings left in your window sill hidden by your blinds only to be discovered by the other female when she goes to use the same window sill as a shelf too.  Get a nightstand for the other side of the bed too dude! lol  The shadowy area under the guest side of the bed can be refuge to any number of not-so-big items left by a woman for the next guest to find.  Next thing you know, you’re being asked “Who’s is this?”


She’s the last one in the bathroom before you leave for work and she’s opportunistically put your condom on the top of the trash.  Your kidney fails you because you don’t have a reason to go into your bathroom before having company directly after work.


Oh the bathroom is not your friend and instead can be one of the biggest tattletales.  You may catch the girl soap she left on the tub but what about the travel sized body spray she left under the sink in the far corner behind your toilet tissue supply.  Of course it wouldn’t be your life if your girlfriend didn’t discover it while changing the empty roll.  A dirty linen hamper can be a foe with purpose too.  Housing light colored washcloths or towels with make-up stains or a few too many used towels when you are clearly on the same set as last week can all be a dead giveaway.  Here’s one, she recognizes the hair in your brush as not her own.  Heck you thought it was hers, it’s the same color!!


Once the language of “You Aren’t the Only One” commences then it is received loud and clear then is usually answered with woman speak for “I’m more relevant than you”.  Once this “talk” begins, it’s all downhill from there.  Drama ensues!!


Whether you are upfront about dating more than one woman at a time or you have a girlfriend and you’re cheating…trust becomes an issue.  She may not trust that you are as committed as you say or she doesn’t trust she gets more of you than other women, either way the dynamic of the relationship changes.  Now she’s checking your phone or watching you closely every time you pick up your phone.



When she gets a name, the real craziness arises!  You imagine she’ll just be done with you and leave.  Nope!!  She’ll stay up at night upset over what she’s discovered, sure.  She’ll think about how you’re the scum of the earth and how you don’t deserve her…


…BUT you won’t get off that easy.  Some women actually think that winning is keeping the man and making the other woman let go.  What usually happens is, neither woman wants to let go.  So instead that’s when the fight started, yes even physical fights sometimes.


Most definitely, as a sign of the times, social media fights.


          Women talk.  Sometimes we use our own language that goes above the head of the average man, however we manage to get the message across to others in our species.  With the ratio of women to men being to your advantage, be more aware of the messages being sent by the women in your life.  All of these messages are not verbal and all are not direct.  No matter how much you may wish for it, you probably won’t get us to…


The Book And The Cover

(A post from my personal blog.)


            I was watching the Blind Side….for the first time today.  It was a beautiful story. At the end they shared pictures of the real Michael Oher and his family.




My first thought was if I’d seen those same pictures without knowing the story behind their family, I’d have judged them all wrong. I’d have thought, if even for a moment: that white family probably stepped in to help that black boy only due to his football ability and got paid off it in the end. It doesn’t come from a racist point of view, it comes from a “people always taking advantage of others” point of view. Besides, as the daughter of a white man and a black woman… I can say what I want about either race, so shut it!! Amazing how the first “cover” we give to “books” we haven’t read tends to be negative.




         We’re told not to judge others. As humans we have a tendency to characterize and categorize. It’s actually a defense mechanism. You do it to get a feel on how to interact with things and even people. Sometimes our judgment is off and sometimes it’s spot on.




         I venture to stand firm that people NEED to and SHOULD judge others.  I qualify the people in my life. It is a rare occasion that someone gets something (not always material things) from me that they weren’t qualified to receive. Who’s standards do I use? My own. My standards of qualification are led by my spiritual connection, how I was raised, what my environment has taught me and even sometimes what society has pushed on me.

         To judge before knowing about something is needed to quickly assess danger. I argue the quote “don’t judge a book by its cover” is not a good lesson. Most often in life you don’t have time to read the book, you may not have access to the Cliff Notes or half way through the book you realize it was a bad choice but it’s too late and you’ll never get that time/opportunity back.




          Apply that to relationships, possible jobs, child care options, etc… Sometimes all you may have is a few minutes to judge whether something is good for you or not….good for your kids or not. You HAVE to judge and you have to be good at it and get better at it. Always judge BUT never be unwilling to adjust that judgment with the revelation of new information. Don’t be afraid to change your mind based on what you’ve learned since your initial judgment.



Don’t waste your life looking for “The One”

A lot of people believe they will find their other half in another person and that person will be their soul mate, “THE One”….their Neo.  Whether you take the red or blue pill, what you’ll have to realize is that YOU are “THE One”. What you are is what you will attract and connect to in this life.  If you are single, work to BE who you want to attract. If you are in a relationship, BE who you want your partner to be in return.  I found a great post that gives a similar perspective:



From an early age we are taught to seek and desire that one special someone to spend our lives with. “The one”. This person is your soul mate, the one you will one day marry. The one who won’t be perfect but will be perfect for you. Yes indeed how many of us have sought for that in our youth and how many of us have actually found it?

To be sure some have, whether by seeking or by stumbling upon “the one” they have successfully found that someone whom they are happily spending their life with. Kudos to you.

But for many of us who are still “waiting” I would like to offer my personal opinion: You are free to disagree and experience will tell me that despite many of you agreeing in word very few of you will agree in action.

Don’t spend your life looking for, waiting for, and expecting “the one”.

For some people the ultimate goal is get a woman to spend their life with or a man to put that ring on their finger. I don’t think any of you who think this way mean any harm but I would say that the idea that “If we just work hard enough at it we can make a good marriage” may be a myth.

For others, perhaps the wiser (or at least the more idealistic), they don’t want to settle for anything but the best. These people want that person whom they can connect with on all levels, who shares their hopes and dreams, who fulfills their fantasies, who connects as a best friend and a lover.

For this second group of people finding someone compatible that you are willing to commit your life to is much harder and may take much longer. And these are primarily who I’m giving this advice to.

See you could spend all your time looking for, preparing for, trying to meet, and wishing for that one whom you think will make you happy. And for sure if you should ever meet it would be a happy relationship. But is this really any way to live?

There are few good marriages out there. Not that marriage is a bad idea. It’s not. But there are few people who remain married for life and even fewer who remain happily married for life. The idea of a perfect marriage is a mirage for most people.

Most. But not all. However, if you are holding out for that person whom you find really is “the one” for you my advice is this:

Learn to be content where you are. Learn to love where you are. Pursue other things in life. Pursue your dreams to save the world, or write a book, or start an orphanage, or perfect a musical instrument, or lead a church, or become a doctor. Whatever it is that excites you that you can attain: pursue that wholeheartedly.

This will first of all create a contented spirit in you which is very important to having a happy life. Secondly it will put you in the position to be where the kind of person who is “the one” would likely be as well. If you really want to be a missionary in Africa, spending time at a posh mega church single’s group will most likely not be the best place to meet a like-minded soul mate. In fact, you may fall in love only to find that you have to choose between your dreams and your lover. Sadly, many people give up everything for a human being who will ultimately let them down.

Godliness with contentment is great gain. Gain something by being content and stop waiting for the one. If they come you will be better for them. If they don’t you will have something to show at the end of your life besides a series of failed relationships.

from thelovemanifesto’s blog post: Don’t waste your life looking for “The One”.

Tweetle Dum & Tweetle Dee


    For the last few years social media has been a part of most people’s everyday lives. Yet some men haven’t quite been able to navigate some of the pit falls of social media as it relates to the women in their lives. Whether the relationship is purely sexual, a dating situation or a committed relationship, social media brings with it its own set of problems between men and women. When a man is in attendance at an event where his “lady friend” is also present or could walk in unnoticed to observe his behavior, he has a different set of social rules. That man knows he has to do things a certain way to prevent drama at the event and/or unwanted conversations after the event. Some of the actions are out of respect and others are to prevent flare-ups of insecurity. Regardless of why, following those rules isn’t representative of a man’s normal social behavior. You have to do the same thing when it comes to social media to prevent the same problems.

     After polling men with social media accounts, I came up with a list of the most common complaints. If you DGAF…STOP READING HERE. If you don’t want to hear these complaints, then be proactive.

COMPLAINT: Why you tell HER good morning? You don’t even tell me good morning anymore…

HER VIEW: You must have an interest in her or you wouldn’t go out of your way to do it.

PRO-ACTION: When you log on, do a general greeting. Do NOT single out any one of the opposite sex.


COMPLAINT: Isn’t that your Ex? Why are y’all communicating? How would you like it if I communicated with my Ex?

HER VIEW: You are creating opportunity to backtrack and reunite. By the way, anybody you’ve been with before her, is  going to be labeled as an Ex.

PRO-ACTION: Limit public communication with anyone SHE would qualify as an Ex. That’s what DMs and private messages are for, privacy. ALWAYS delete them after the conversation.


COMPLAINT: You can tweet/update your status but you can’t text/call me back?

HER VIEW: She understands if you are busy and can’t get right back to her but she expects that when you are no longer busy, your first order of business is to text/call her back. She will not view tweeting/updating your status as more important than her.

PRO-ACTION: I know you prefer your app but the easiest fix here is to tweet/update your status from the web as often as possible. Doing so lends credit to the excuse that you weren’t by your phone or didn’t know she’d sent a text/called.  Think of it as the online version of “I left my phone in the car”.


COMPLAINT: Why you stopped tweeting/don’t tweet me (like my status or comment on my posts)? You do it for other women all the time. You don’t want people to know we’re together?

HER VIEW: You’re down playing your association with her to leave the door open for other women to approach you or consider your approach.

PRO-ACTION: Be social with her, just as you are with others. It doesn’t have to be often nor telling of what kind of relationship you have. It’s just a form of inclusion that could spare a break in your peace of mind. Never forget women notice changes in patterns. If you tweeted your ass off to get her attention then stop when you get her, it is noticed. Feel free to level off the tweeting but don’t stop tweeting her.


COMPLAINT: It’s so disrespectful to be tweeting/commenting back and forth on posts late at night.

HER VIEW: She assumes you have sex on your mind during that hour and all communication with the opposite sex will be viewed as a form of flirting.

PRO-ACTION: Either only DM/ private message women during that time or go play Call of Duty something. They don’t call it #TwitterAfterDark for nothing!


COMPLAINT: Why you going back and forth with that one female? You like her or something?

HER VIEW: Once again long conversations denote interest. She won’t see it as interest in the topic, only as interest in the female.

PRO-ACTION: Unless it is a group discussion, don’t single out other females to have public, lengthy conversations. Take that to DM/private message.


COMPLAINT: What woman were you talking about when you tweeted #OOMF? What’s that all about?

HER VIEW: You’re having sex with #OOYF. #ThatIsAll

PRO-ACTION: Stay away from the #OOMF and the #her tweets period. Even if you are talking about her sometimes, she’ll still be obsessed with trying to figure out if and how many other women could fit the possibility. That may lead to placing certain women on their radar, you don’t need those problems.


COMPLAINT: Are you talking about me in your tweet/post? It really hurt my feelings because it could apply to me.

HER VIEW: Is that how you really feel about me?

PRO-ACTION: Don’t tweet/post anything similar to topics of past or current arguments or state of conditions with her. When a topic is brought up or you come up with one randomly, if you think she’ll take it wrong, just don’t go there.

      Any of that seem like too much trouble to go through; too much consideration to show? Fine, don’t be proactive BUT remember this:


     This is especially so with women. When a woman does not feel special, it ignites something in her. Social Networking is just the computer version of a paper trail. It can be worse than leaving your little black book around or your cell phone with unlocked text messages and picture albums. Treat the situation as though any woman you are dealing with has read ALL of your tweets/posts to back before she knew you and/or back to your first tweet. Approach it as though she’s seen every picture in your Facebook albums and in every picture media site associated with your Twitter account: Frog, TwitPic, Lockerz….all of ’em.  She will use all of this intel to make sure that everything is as it should be. Women are going to try their best to stand out from the crowd. If they are special, you will allow them to stand out. If they are not special, you will suppress every attempt they make. Women know this, therefore they are going to pee all around you, your tweets, your Facebook posts, your MySpace status, etc… to try and claim or keep territory. Use that knowledge and dull your public interactions to make NO one feel special or stand out if you are living the single life or to ONLY make her feel publicly special and stand out if you are in that type of relationship.

 Don’t address it and you will hear all about it…BLAH, BLAH, Whine, Whine….

The end of the 2014 Challenge: I made it!!

survivor-atoz [2014]

Once again I took the challenge and came out on the other side a better writer. I used the same strategy as last year by taking a calendar for April and writing in suggested topics. Last year the theme was relationships, this year the theme was how to be a better you. Never really blogged ahead this year, I just tried to stay on time. Towards the end,  life started to interfere and I didn’t think I’d finish. I got caught up by submitting the last few letters on the last day of April. Once again, I enjoyed exploring my personal experiences, as well as the feedback from others. Just as I did last year by compiling my posts into an eBook entitled The ABC’s of Relationships, I will also take this year’s posts and create an eBook from them. Same as last year, all of my blog posts for this challenge will disappear from my blog to ready their existence for eBook. I’ll keep you updated.

The greatest benefit is that I now follow even more awesome bloggers I may not have discovered if it weren’t for our participation in the challenge. I am proud to be a survivor of the 2013 and 2014 A to Z Blog Challenge.  As a blogger and even a writer, I strongly urge you to participate in the challenge. Here is the FAQ’s of the challenge HERE.

2014 A to Z Blog Challenge


Hey people. I haven’t blogged in a while and this challenge has come just in time to get me back in the habit. I first discovered this blog challenge last year.  I accepted and survived the challenge, posting every day but Sundays for the entire month of April. You may wonder where my posts are from last year. Well surprise, surprise I used my hard work from last year to publish a book: The ABC’s of Relationships: An Alphabetical Look Into Relationships available on as a Kindle eBook. You can find it HERE. The creator of this great challenge, Arlee Bird of  Tossing It Out, was gracious enough to even write the forward for my book. Some of my favorite comments from various blog posts even made it into my book as well (with permission, of course).


If you’ve taken time to look around my blog, you will see (if you didn’t figure it out from the name…DUH) it is primarily about relationships.  The focus is mostly on relationships of a romantic nature but some posts can be applied to your interpersonal relationships with friends, family, etc..  That brings to be what my A to Z Challenge theme will be this year: relationship with self.  This year I am writing about how to have a better relationship with yourself, one alphabet at a time.

The relationship YOU have with YOU sets the tone for the relationships you have with other people.  Some thoughts will overlap in different posts at times, after all life is connected.

I invite you to take this journey with me into self.  It is my hope that by the time we reach Z, you will know how to be the best YOU that YOU can be.