Tweetle Dum & Tweetle Dee

“RELATING” ON TWITTER & OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA

    For the last few years social media has been a part of most people’s everyday lives. Yet some men haven’t quite been able to navigate some of the pit falls of social media as it relates to the women in their lives. Whether the relationship is purely sexual, a dating situation or a committed relationship, social media brings with it its own set of problems between men and women. When a man is in attendance at an event where his “lady friend” is also present or could walk in unnoticed to observe his behavior, he has a different set of social rules. That man knows he has to do things a certain way to prevent drama at the event and/or unwanted conversations after the event. Some of the actions are out of respect and others are to prevent flare-ups of insecurity. Regardless of why, following those rules isn’t representative of a man’s normal social behavior. You have to do the same thing when it comes to social media to prevent the same problems.

     After polling men with social media accounts, I came up with a list of the most common complaints. If you DGAF…STOP READING HERE. If you don’t want to hear these complaints, then be proactive.

COMPLAINT: Why you tell HER good morning? You don’t even tell me good morning anymore…

HER VIEW: You must have an interest in her or you wouldn’t go out of your way to do it.

PRO-ACTION: When you log on, do a general greeting. Do NOT single out any one of the opposite sex.

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COMPLAINT: Isn’t that your Ex? Why are y’all communicating? How would you like it if I communicated with my Ex?

HER VIEW: You are creating opportunity to backtrack and reunite. By the way, anybody you’ve been with before her, is  going to be labeled as an Ex.

PRO-ACTION: Limit public communication with anyone SHE would qualify as an Ex. That’s what DMs and private messages are for, privacy. ALWAYS delete them after the conversation.

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COMPLAINT: You can tweet/update your status but you can’t text/call me back?

HER VIEW: She understands if you are busy and can’t get right back to her but she expects that when you are no longer busy, your first order of business is to text/call her back. She will not view tweeting/updating your status as more important than her.

PRO-ACTION: I know you prefer your app but the easiest fix here is to tweet/update your status from the web as often as possible. Doing so lends credit to the excuse that you weren’t by your phone or didn’t know she’d sent a text/called.  Think of it as the online version of “I left my phone in the car”.

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COMPLAINT: Why you stopped tweeting/don’t tweet me (like my status or comment on my posts)? You do it for other women all the time. You don’t want people to know we’re together?

HER VIEW: You’re down playing your association with her to leave the door open for other women to approach you or consider your approach.

PRO-ACTION: Be social with her, just as you are with others. It doesn’t have to be often nor telling of what kind of relationship you have. It’s just a form of inclusion that could spare a break in your peace of mind. Never forget women notice changes in patterns. If you tweeted your ass off to get her attention then stop when you get her, it is noticed. Feel free to level off the tweeting but don’t stop tweeting her.

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COMPLAINT: It’s so disrespectful to be tweeting/commenting back and forth on posts late at night.

HER VIEW: She assumes you have sex on your mind during that hour and all communication with the opposite sex will be viewed as a form of flirting.

PRO-ACTION: Either only DM/ private message women during that time or go play Call of Duty something. They don’t call it #TwitterAfterDark for nothing!

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COMPLAINT: Why you going back and forth with that one female? You like her or something?

HER VIEW: Once again long conversations denote interest. She won’t see it as interest in the topic, only as interest in the female.

PRO-ACTION: Unless it is a group discussion, don’t single out other females to have public, lengthy conversations. Take that to DM/private message.

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COMPLAINT: What woman were you talking about when you tweeted #OOMF? What’s that all about?

HER VIEW: You’re having sex with #OOYF. #ThatIsAll

PRO-ACTION: Stay away from the #OOMF and the #her tweets period. Even if you are talking about her sometimes, she’ll still be obsessed with trying to figure out if and how many other women could fit the possibility. That may lead to placing certain women on their radar, you don’t need those problems.

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COMPLAINT: Are you talking about me in your tweet/post? It really hurt my feelings because it could apply to me.

HER VIEW: Is that how you really feel about me?

PRO-ACTION: Don’t tweet/post anything similar to topics of past or current arguments or state of conditions with her. When a topic is brought up or you come up with one randomly, if you think she’ll take it wrong, just don’t go there.

      Any of that seem like too much trouble to go through; too much consideration to show? Fine, don’t be proactive BUT remember this:

 WHEN DEALING WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX, THERE IS ALWAYS A FIGHT TO BE OR STAY RELEVANT/SPECIAL.

     This is especially so with women. When a woman does not feel special, it ignites something in her. Social Networking is just the computer version of a paper trail. It can be worse than leaving your little black book around or your cell phone with unlocked text messages and picture albums. Treat the situation as though any woman you are dealing with has read ALL of your tweets/posts to back before she knew you and/or back to your first tweet. Approach it as though she’s seen every picture in your Facebook albums and in every picture media site associated with your Twitter account: Frog, TwitPic, Lockerz….all of ’em.  She will use all of this intel to make sure that everything is as it should be. Women are going to try their best to stand out from the crowd. If they are special, you will allow them to stand out. If they are not special, you will suppress every attempt they make. Women know this, therefore they are going to pee all around you, your tweets, your Facebook posts, your MySpace status, etc… to try and claim or keep territory. Use that knowledge and dull your public interactions to make NO one feel special or stand out if you are living the single life or to ONLY make her feel publicly special and stand out if you are in that type of relationship.

 Don’t address it and you will hear all about it…BLAH, BLAH, Whine, Whine….