Whether it was a 10 year committed relationship or a month long fling, when the interaction ends there are always so many questions and what ifs lingering. Men handle them differently than women. As women we tend to push for answers, understanding and satisfaction from our former partner. As women we sometimes feel as though we’re stuck and can’t move on without those things. As women, we have to learn to let go of that death grip we tend to have on trying to get him to satisfy our need to get why it ended and accept that it ended. The truth is, if you are waiting to be made whole again through closure from your ex….. you may as well buy a zipper.
Well it doesn’t have to be a zipper, feel free to purchase a button, a snap, velco….whatever. The point is you are more likely to get closure from those items than you are your former mate. It’s okay to have questions about where it went wrong, how it went wrong, what was your part, etc… The problem comes in when it is expected that the information is owed to you, the information will make you whole again or the information will miraculously make you ready to move on with your life. Marriage or a one night stand, if that person hasn’t made a commitment to stay with you and work it out then they don’t owe you anything. You can feel entitled for as long as you like but the blatant truth is, it isn’t owed to you and you may never get it the way you think you should anyway.
So where can you turn for closure? Turn to yourself. Closure always has and always will come from within. You have to reconcile for yourself (sometimes with no information from your ex) how the break-up will affect you, what it will teach, what it will change about you, how it will tweak your dating process, etc… Stop calling him. Stop waiting for him. Stop Facebook stalking him. YOU decide. YOU have the power. YOU give yourself closure.
As always, I encourage you to share your experience or debate mine!!